I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
