like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My dick has a subreddit
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize