hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
