What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Do vagina's smell?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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