I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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