Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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