i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
