found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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