What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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