Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
