I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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