What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
