i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
