I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
