That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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