just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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