Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
