Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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