Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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