he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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