What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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