They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
and you fell through a lawn chair
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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