just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I got inside last night via doggy door
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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