The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
