...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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