Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
