I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
