and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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