Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
