You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize