redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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