Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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