So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
