YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
