haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
