Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
