And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
