I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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