so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
