If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
