Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
