i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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