U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
