Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
