dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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