I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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