$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
