kristin has been a bad kristin
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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