I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
