We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
this hospital has no fireball
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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