38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
