the new term for farting is butt boxing.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
