arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
