K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
