The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize