This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
