your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
