Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
