don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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