If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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