Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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