I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
