we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
